Opposites Attract

When Vacations Pose a Threat to Your Relationship

Opposites do attract and true to form they can have very different interests. This can wreak havoc on a relationship when it comes to planning vacations. Sometimes the only answer appears to be separate vacations. Some couples surveyed say this is necessary to maintain their relationship, but they aren't happy about it. Julie and Stuart Miller are a classic example; she is an art and history buff and he is a sports enthusiast. While they share a similar sense of humor and love of music, each has little interest in their other pursuits. Julie doesn't mind Stuart's Saturday golf game- she uses the time to visit a museum. When it comes to vacations, "It is the once or maybe twice out of the year that we leave it all behind- work, kids… the only time we as a couple have to truly be alone with each other. So the idea of going it alone, seems, well wasted."

A better solution, is a joint, dual vacation- where both partners get to do the activities that they enjoy, while still spending some of their time together, according to Penny Sheldon, an expert travel planner with WeBeenThere.com. "I have found that when two people want to vacation together and yet each has a passion of their own, then the all-inclusive resorts usually takes care of their needs. With this type of vacation couples often take the time to explore their mates interests since they don't have to pay anything additional because professional equipment and instruction for all levels from the novice to the advanced are included. They come together at the end of the day, sharing the intimacy of the evening, each feeling fulfilled from experiencing their desires. It's a 10 for everyone!"

Lorene Stone, another Webeenthere travel expert offers another alternative, a custom planned dual vacation. For the Millers she would recommend the following vacation:

"A golf based vacation to Spain with a typical day such as this: Alcaidesa links, one of the most spectacular links courses that you will ever play, with magnificent views over the Mediterranean to Gibraltar. For non-golfers a suggestion would be to visit Seville, with its, a 15th Century Gothic Cathedral with its magnificent carvings and paintings. Also, visit the Almohade Aljama Mosque (12th Century), with it striking minaret is the slenderest tower in Muslim architecture, The Giralda, to which an exquisite bell tower was added in the 16th Century. The couple would meet back at the end of the day at the Gran Melia Hotel to share their evening."

For those couples who do want to vacation together there are a number of options. A good way to begin planning is for each partner to make a wish list of important points, identifying those that are negotiable and those that are not. Whittle it down to 3 key points for each and then compare lists. To select a destination there are number of tools available from the advice of expert travel agents to resources on the internet such as WeBeenThere.com and Vacationcoach.com.

Vacation is supposed to be a time for couples to enjoy each other's company and renew their passion for each other. Whatever type vacation a couple decides to take, they should make the most of the time they have alone and together.

Julia Jenson
WeBeenThere Editor At Large

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